This summer has been a transition for me. For those of you who don’t know, I went back to school in 2014 to get my degree in elementary education. I graduate in May!! This is a 2nd and new career for me. Now that my kiddos are older I felt that it was time for me to move forward as well. I am beyond thrilled to start this new adventure. Yes, I won’t make a lot of money, Yes I know there are a lot of politics now in education… but I have already felt little droplets of rewards from students while teaching them these last few years, I just can’t imagine how awesome it will be for me in my own classroom.
What you should also know about me is I love to stay busy… my brain functions best when running 100 miles an hour and I love to try new things. I am surely not a daredevil but I have so many hobbies and passions, I just try to live life and try new things. That makes me happy. Cooking classes, bootcamps, girls night out, art classes that I am not good at, sports, whatever… it maybe. Why not try new things?
However… with trying new things, comes time spent. And that is running dry. So my struggle continues.
12 years ago, I started my photography business, Mandy Hank Photography which I still do today and will continue to do so until people stop booking me. I love it and I love my clients. I can’t imagine giving that business up. Not only is it a great source of income but I love it and it’s rewarding to capture so many memories for so many clients.
Three and a half years ago I started my blog here at The Hankful House. I love crafting and doing stuff around my house. I love making stuff and writing… everything about it makes me feel normal. I love meeting bloggers at conferences or through social media that get me and my strange decorating quirks or my love for DIY. My first year of blogging, I posted almost every day. But with me in school full-time, I barely get to the computer now to write. And I hate it. I love blogging and it makes me happy, yet I can’t find time to do it.
So here I am, loving my new career of teaching, love blogging, love to take pictures and of course there are the mom duties and my kiddos and husband that always come first. I feel like I am being stretched too thin and yet to give up one of these would make me unhappy. Why does our life get filled up with things like laundry and running errands instead of fun things? I get the whole… grow up and be an adult thing. I am an adult and I am responsible but I am realizing something always suffers for me. Whether it’s my sleep, the cleaning in the house, the blog, my spare time or my time with kids… it’s a struggle for me. I am juggling what makes me happy and what makes practical sense or things that have to get done.
Do I want to be a full-time blogger or full-time photographer that makes enough to pay our bills all the time… sure. But maybe I need to be ok with doing them on the side, like I have been. Enough to make me happy. I can’t seem to give up one to only concentrate on the others. These things give me something to look forward to when the days are long, the struggles are real and there are too many bills to pay. Maybe what I found in my life now is not a trifecta of things taking my time, but maybe I found the winning trifecta that allows me to dabble in each of these wonderful things and yet find my happiness. Maybe there are things I can remove out of my life that don’t need to be there. I don’t know what that might be right now. Maybe it’s kind of like when you budget and you think there is nothing you can get ride of and then when you really try you see all these things you can save on and delete from your lives. Maybe I need to budget my time better.
The hard part about being a mom, is to remember I was someone before I was a mom or wife and I need to do things for that person too. I have interests and hobbies and they don’t always have to include my husband or kids.
I love those three more than you know but I feel like I am a better wife and mom when I find and can do interests for me sometimes too. That is where my struggle to find a balance and happiness begins…..
If you are still reading, thank you! I just needed to vent because I haven’t blogged in a while and I can feel that I haven’t been the same person lately. I am struggling. I am struggling to find the balance of not only finding time to do these things and be with those who I love but when I do them, I am not always in 100% at the time. When I am with my kids, it just needs to be my kids and nothing else. When I am blogging, I need to sit down and not worry about the bills in the corner that need to be paid or the laundry piling up. I am one mega- multi- tasker but I feel like lately it’s almost biting me in the caboose. Maybe doing too much at once, it’s the key anymore. I think I may need to find a balance to concentrate on one thing during the time I give it… maybe that is the trick. Maybe that is how you budget for your happiness…..
Anyone else have any balance issues? Let me know what you struggle with and what you do to make you your happy person again!
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